Waves

I was cleaning out my google drive and I came across a journal entry that I wrote last summer and reflecting back on that time and now I think the lesson is still relevant.

7.14.19

"We swam into the ocean today and the further out we were, the bigger and harder the waves tended to get. There were intervals of waves that were tiny and soft followed by intervals of harder and higher waves. The smaller waves were nice and gave me time to build up strength for the higher and harder ones. When the hard waves would come I tried all sorts of things diving under them, turning my back to them and letting them hit me, even facing straight to them. But as I tried different things I started to notice a pulling tension under water when a bigger wave was coming. I started swimming and when I felt that tug building I would stand and wait for the moment when the tug told me it was time and I would jump in a way that allowed me to ride the wave a bit without getting wiped out. Of course I was not perfect at this at first I had a lot of trial and error to catch the correct moment. I had to totally lay aside control and what my eyes saw for the tug I felt. One way or another the wave was coming and I had to chose to follow my eyes which from the experience were generally wrong or trust the tension I could feel but not see that was a better tell. When I caught a wave successfully I could see pretty far out. I started to get a little frustrated because I wanted to be where I saw. I wanted to move faster with less waves. But I needed to be where I was because I was learning how to efficiently get further and so I wouldn’t drown. If I did somehow get all the way out there and hadn’t learned on the waves where I was I would never have been able to handle going out further.

Through this process the Lord showed me a lot about his character and where I am right now. The ocean is my life, the waves are seasons and situations, the different things coming at me and shaping me, the way I move through life, and handle struggles. The intervals are how the Lord teaching me to appreciate the purpose of each season and timing. There are times where the things I am learning seems to be overwhelming, bigger than me, no way to conquer it, irritating like salt water in my ears. Eyes, nose, legit everywhere lol. Then there are times of rest, healing, and restoration in the smaller waves. A time for me to reflect about the tugging that is like the holy spirit and learning how he is guiding. When I learn to listen to the Holy Spirit and stop trying to control things, he enables and helps me to ride the waves. I still feel them and get through them but they do not overtake or blind me. They actually give me a better view to what is coming, hope for where I am going."